Benefits of Laughing – Do It More Often

Charles Darwin believed that one’s facial expression could actually influence one’s mood. This has since been scientifically proven to be true.

It is said that currently we laugh an average of 4-6 minutes a day; it was 18 minutes in the 1950’s. So what has changed? Why do we laugh less than we used to? There have always been wars, poverty, disease; it’s hard for me to believe the world has changed that much. I would have to say it’s our attitudes that have changed. Our entertainment has changed.

To rephrase from “We Are Who We Surround Ourselves With”, I’d have to say we are what we surround ourselves with. In the 1950’s you had Andy Griffith and Leave It To Beaver. Currently every other show is a crime drama, a murder story, death, bad people, and struggles for justice.

It’s as if we enjoy being lost in dramatic television so we don’t have to focus on our own problems. I will speak for myself, but television is just a depressant for me.

Life is dramatic because we make it dramatic. It’s a cultural habit.

We should take a day to turn the TV off and spend time with good people. Find people who are always in good moods, positive, and uplifting. If you make a great effort to spend time around happy people, it will become contagious. Avoid the ones who bring you down and remind you how “terrible life is”. You will feel a breath of fresh air to laugh with people who are content with life.

Next time you’re upset, watch a funny movie or read a book that makes you smile. The benefits of laughter and happiness greatly outweigh the consequences of sadness and depression. Remember benefits over consequences.

According to humor-laughter.com:

• 15 minutes of laughter equals the benefit of 2 hours of sleep.
• Laughter can improve your immune system by releasing levels of cortisol into the body.
• Laughing will stimulate your heart and lungs, elevate your blood pressure, and improve your breathing capacity.
• You can add on to your life span by laughing.
• It can improve circulatory and cardiovascular health.
• Laughter releases endorphins. (A natural “high.)
• Humor can increase morale in the work place.
• University of Chicago shows a great sense of humor can add 8 years to your life

Leadership – Lead Yourself Through Hard Times

I’ve always felt that the only way we can fail at something is to never try at all.

In one of my management classes we were asked, “Is leadership something you can learn, or are you born with it?” I would have to say both. We all possess leadership qualities and we need to learn how to trigger the behavior. Just as someone who is musically talented never knew until they took lessons and learned how to channel the skill, a leader might not know until they are put in a situation to make decisions.

What exactly is leadership? I like to think of it as quick thinking under pressure, finding answers to problems, keeping composure, having others trust you, and never giving up.

Now I know there are many people who would hate to think about a group of people relying on them for answers; it’s intimidating and not for the faint at heart. But what I’ve learned is leadership comes from practice, and that practice is with yourself.

I’m always saying that we are in control of our lives; we are not victims of the world and we can turn any bad situation into our advantage. This turns you into a self-leader.

Stop and think if your actions are something you would recommend to someone you care about? Would you want to see someone go through the things you put yourself through? It’s important to look at yourself as a second person, a best friend, and ask yourself “Am I making things worse?” “Am I fixing anything by doing this?” You might just reassess what you’re doing and who you are.

Lead by example, plain and simple.

When times get tough, the leader you need to look to for answers needs to be yourself. After all, you should know what’s best for you. You should want what’s best for you. We are only given one life; regardless of mistakes and catastrophe we can still turn anything into a better situation. We need to practice our self-leadership skills and look for light at the end of the tunnel, not running around in the dark.

- M.

Life Summed Up In Physics – Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion

Law III – For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Sir Isaac Newton’s laws of motion were monumental to the world of physics. We were better able to understand matter, mass, inertia, and the actual movement of a physical object and the force behind it. Now I’m neither a physics instructor nor scientist but I do enjoy thinking outside of the box and I do enjoy believing that Newton’s third law of motion can apply to the mind and emotions.

Let me explain:

“Why me?” The first question we typically ask ourselves when something we feel unfair has happened to us.  The second question being, “What do I do now?”

When you play a game of pool, you hit a ball that comes into contact with another. The ball in motion collides with the stationary ball sending the stationary one into motion allowing your cue ball to now occupy the same space once taken by the once stationary (now moving) pool ball. That’s always been the example that helped me understand. Now the ball that has been moved from its spot will be sent flying off until it comes into contact with something else, eventually making its way into the pocket.

Our emotions are very much like pool balls.

When life hits a ball that comes flying into our safe and stationary world, we go flying into the distance hitting everything we can until we eventually fall into that pocket and sit there until someone comes to pick us up. But just as a professional pool player, we possess the ability to control the direction once we are hit.

Anyone who falls into the pocket immediately gives up too quickly, and anyone flying around hitting everything in sight is just self-destructive. We possess the ability to slow our speed of motion and bring ourselves back to a stationary state.

Yes for every action there is a reaction; but this doesn’t mean it has to be a bad reaction. Just because you were “hit” with a break up, doesn’t mean you have to drink and rebound. Of course there will be a reaction to what has happened, there is always a reaction, but it is in our control and can be as good or bad as we make it.

When someone puts their pain on you, it will send your serenity into rocket launch. Their pain and your peace cannot occupy the same space; so which do you choose? It is not worth carrying pain from others who are out of control when you’re trying to stay stationary.  With practice and strength you can eventually learn what situations need to occupy space in your mind and what others shouldn’t.

In a way, we decide our own emotional gravitational pull.

- M.

We Are Who We Surround Ourselves With

Doesn’t all of this sound like a self-help book haha. I had someone tell me today that my positive attitude makes them want to punch me in the face! I took it as a compliment.  It’s good to write and release; and there is nothing better for when I get down then to read something I wrote at some point when I had a better attitude towards it.

But to get to the point of this; birds of a feather flock together. I’ve always thought that clichés exist because they are so true they’ve just been worn out.

Those who smoke typically hang around others who smoke, musicians spend time with musicians, and partiers will all be found together at the club; it’s not exactly science here, it’s simply observation. We enjoy being around people who are like us; it’s safety within our comfort zone.

But what if our comfort zone is not the best option for us?

I’ve always been proud of my friends; they are amazing people. I don’t give credit to myself for being the person I am; it all goes to my friends and family. Sure I spend time with many types of people, but at the end of the day I surround myself with supportive, loyal, and loving influences. I have full control over who I let in and out of my life.

We aren’t victims of our social scene. Anyone can change his or her clothing, hair, or even attitude to fit in; what’s important is to understand what is best for us in the end. Sometimes this can be the hardest decision of all.

There is nothing in here saying to dump your friends. If you are happy with who you are and where you are headed in life, then all is good. But I’ve learned before that sometimes we hold ourselves back by people who aren’t concerned with our best interests.

I can promise the people who will lift you up, support your decisions, and stay on your team, are the ones to keep around. You might not be identical in interests or activities, but positive attitudes can rub off on others and eventually lead to great things.

- M.

The Value of Life

My neighbor committed suicide this morning; not exactly the most uplifting opening sentence and definitely not the most uplifting way to wake up. It seems there is a domino effect in life where once the stability of your life starts to shake, it’s only a matter of time before your whole world comes crashing down. It seems my world has done that recently….but I am optimistic in the path I am on and my abilities to keep my head high, even in the hardest of times.

It’s hard to think about someone being gone forever. Even if you weren’t close to someone, when you find out someone has died, you can’t help but think about life and how short it really is.

We all have a purpose. The problem is that sometimes we don’t see our full potential; we have no faith in ourselves and no confidence that we can amount to much of anything. We fill ourselves with shame, guilt, self-rejection, low self-esteem, and eventually it takes a toll on our entire value of life. “No one cares about me” they say. This of course is not true; everyone has someone who cares about them….sometimes people just don’t realize what a true friend really means and there will always be someone to listen to them. It’s a moment where you swallow your pride, push away your fears of rejection, and come to terms that you do need someone in your life that can lift you up when you get down.

We all have people in our lives that were put here for a reason. It’s important we recognize that. Once we feel we have support, we feel we can accomplish something. I promise, we all are equally capable to achieve great things; it all depends how badly you want something and how hard you want to work. Great things don’t come easy.

- M.

When Life Gets You Down – Sing Like Michael McDonald

I’m not sure about everyone else but sometimes there are certain things that will always put me in a good mood. For some maybe chocolate, maybe a funny movie or a power nap…but for me, singing like Michael McDonald always does the trick.

I know it sounds completely ridiculous and to a point immature and childish (aren’t we always at some point?) but it really does help. Sometimes that one quirky and unusual guilty pleasure we secretly do behind closed doors will bring a little less stress to our day.

Sure, “Yah Mo B There”, “Ain’t No Mountain High”, or my all time favorite “What A Fool Believes” doesn’t have to be on your bad day playlist, but turning yourself into an overproduced smooth 70′s act for a couple of minutes sure can bring a smile to your face, and other people too….if you trust them enough to sing to them!

- M.

Why Are We So Angry? – Where is the joy?

I came to a realization while grocery shopping this afternoon that people have no disregard for anyone around. I think everyone believes this, but when you really take the time to pay attention to how rude the outside world is…it makes you never want to leave the house.

In a world where everything seems to be going wrong, we sure don’t make it any easier on ourselves. I’m starting to really be aware of my selfish tendencies towards bystanders. Am I really that important? Is it really a big deal if I’m 10 minutes late? In some cases I’m sure it is important to be on time or someone does have an excuse to speed in an emergency; but we take it out on everyone!

Awareness is key to living with some joy; even if you’re aware of how bad your situation is. They say the first step to recovery is recognizing there is a problem; and trust me, we all have problems in one way or another. So instead of making it a habit to give your fellow driver the Birdie, cuss out the little old woman who walks too slow, or yell at your friend for being late to a movie….we might want to make it a habit of asking ourselves, “Why does this make me so angry?”

You might just discover that there is something completely different causing you to act this way and once you are aware, it’s much easier to calm yourself down.

My mind has more control over me than my problems ever will. That brings me some joy right there!

- M.

Which Side is the Wrong Side of the Bed?

My bed is against a wall. There is only one side I can wake up on in the morning and today definitely was not the best morning. I had no real reason to be in a mood; other than the fact it was already 100 degrees outside and I had yard work to do.

So I grabbed my Fresca (yeah, it’s my breakfast of champions) and went off to cut some grass. Sure, grass clippings, sweaty eyebrows, and the smell of gas on my fingers isn’t what I’d call a relaxing morning….but I was doing a service. I wasn’t just helping someone save some energy and water weight; I was helping someone keep pride in their property. Sometimes a man’s house is all he has.

Regardless of my crummy mood, I realized that sometimes when we do something that is a “burden” to our convenient situation (AKA air conditioned bedroom) that we tend to look past the good that we are doing. Our actions can benefit others. Example: you may work the 7 am shift at Starbuck’s, but you never know if that doctor saved a life because he was awake enough from his early morning coffee.

Yeah you have to use your imagination sometimes and really play up the inner super hero inside of you; but there is nothing wrong with that! I have one side of the bed to wake up on, so I have no excuse to use as to why I should snap at someone, cut them off in traffic, or walk around like a dark cloud hangs over me.

I say if you wake up in the morning…you’re already off to a good start! There is no such thing as a bad day, just better ones; and our perception of our current situation is up to us. We are in full control of ourselves and are the true deciders over a good or bad attitude.

- M.