Are you upset? Are you sad? Are things not going as planned?
This always helps me:
Once this is done just smile; even if it’s a fake smile it will help. If you read my post about the benefits of laughing you will see that just your facial expressions can change your mood.
Patience is something I believe we all say we have but then get too impatient when things don’t go how we want them to and either settle or make irrational decisions. I’m not one for sitting around waiting for things to magically get better, but I do think that sometimes we jump to conclusions and forget to think about the consequences of our actions. I’ve realized that if I give things a little more time, they will almost always work themselves out. It’s like this universal natural order where things expand and contract but eventually will reach equilibrium if left alone.
Patience is about tolerating delay. If our job isn’t what we thought it would be, maybe we need to give it a little more time before we just quit it for another one. I like to think of the beginning of everything as the “honeymoon stage”; where everything is great for the first couple of weeks or months, and then you start realizing it isn’t what your expectations were.
If something is harmful or unhealthy then definitely don’t wait for anything, get out of there! But I’ve seen so many people who try something, immediately jump to some conclusion that everything is wrong, and when the first lifeboat hits the water, they jump right in and sail away.
They say good things come to those who wait; I also like to believe that good things come to good people. We have to give things a chance. We have to realize that every good and every bad is only a temporary feeling. If your day isn’t what you thought, just be patient, tomorrow might be the best day of your life; but don’t just run off or quit something because it didn’t go as planned. At least try your best and give it some time and effort.
It’s rare when things we expected to happen actually do and I’m starting to think if we actually had some patience we would soon find what we were hoping for. Everyone is in a rush and no one wants to slow down and look at themselves. Just have patience; things tend to fall into place even in the worst situations.
So when life gets you down, just take some time to sit back and relax. Once you hit rock bottom you can only go up; it just takes time.
- M.
Charles Darwin believed that one’s facial expression could actually influence one’s mood. This has since been scientifically proven to be true.
It is said that currently we laugh an average of 4-6 minutes a day; it was 18 minutes in the 1950’s. So what has changed? Why do we laugh less than we used to? There have always been wars, poverty, disease; it’s hard for me to believe the world has changed that much. I would have to say it’s our attitudes that have changed. Our entertainment has changed.
To rephrase from “We Are Who We Surround Ourselves With”, I’d have to say we are what we surround ourselves with. In the 1950’s you had Andy Griffith and Leave It To Beaver. Currently every other show is a crime drama, a murder story, death, bad people, and struggles for justice.
It’s as if we enjoy being lost in dramatic television so we don’t have to focus on our own problems. I will speak for myself, but television is just a depressant for me.
Life is dramatic because we make it dramatic. It’s a cultural habit.
We should take a day to turn the TV off and spend time with good people. Find people who are always in good moods, positive, and uplifting. If you make a great effort to spend time around happy people, it will become contagious. Avoid the ones who bring you down and remind you how “terrible life is”. You will feel a breath of fresh air to laugh with people who are content with life.
Next time you’re upset, watch a funny movie or read a book that makes you smile. The benefits of laughter and happiness greatly outweigh the consequences of sadness and depression. Remember benefits over consequences.
According to humor-laughter.com:
I’ve always felt that the only way we can fail at something is to never try at all.
In one of my management classes we were asked, “Is leadership something you can learn, or are you born with it?” I would have to say both. We all possess leadership qualities and we need to learn how to trigger the behavior. Just as someone who is musically talented never knew until they took lessons and learned how to channel the skill, a leader might not know until they are put in a situation to make decisions.
What exactly is leadership? I like to think of it as quick thinking under pressure, finding answers to problems, keeping composure, having others trust you, and never giving up.
Now I know there are many people who would hate to think about a group of people relying on them for answers; it’s intimidating and not for the faint at heart. But what I’ve learned is leadership comes from practice, and that practice is with yourself.
I’m always saying that we are in control of our lives; we are not victims of the world and we can turn any bad situation into our advantage. This turns you into a self-leader.
Stop and think if your actions are something you would recommend to someone you care about? Would you want to see someone go through the things you put yourself through? It’s important to look at yourself as a second person, a best friend, and ask yourself “Am I making things worse?” “Am I fixing anything by doing this?” You might just reassess what you’re doing and who you are.
Lead by example, plain and simple.
When times get tough, the leader you need to look to for answers needs to be yourself. After all, you should know what’s best for you. You should want what’s best for you. We are only given one life; regardless of mistakes and catastrophe we can still turn anything into a better situation. We need to practice our self-leadership skills and look for light at the end of the tunnel, not running around in the dark.
- M.
It seems like right when we think we have life figured out….we get smacked in the face with a curve ball. Knowing a little something about a lot of things doesn’t exactly make you a person of the world; wish someone had told me that a while ago. It might get you a spot on Cash Cab or trivia night at your local pub, but “knowing it all” will definitely earn you a spot on the Never Saw That One Coming Wall of Fame.
Being smart is fine, in fact it’s a great thing to be, but sometimes being humble will get you further. Not everyone wants to know about the history of the world every time you pass by something you’ve “researched”; and I’ve learned the hard way I’d rather enjoy the company of others then prove to them how smart I can be.
A lot about me has changed just over the past few weeks and I’ve come to terms with the person I am and the person I aspire to be. We all have our shortcomings and immaturities and I’m starting to realize my own.
Sometimes our best intentions can be taken the wrong way. It’s hard to know because I don’t believe people enjoy sharing their opinions of what they think you can do to change; but nonetheless we all have something that could use some fine-tuning.
I know I’ll never be perfect, it’s just impossible, and I’m ok with that. I’m fine with taking a few steps back and allowing others to be heard instead of me first. It will come with practice, it will come with time, but I am willing to work hard to appear to be working less.
A modest attitude has shown me a lot recently. I see a world that’s less materialistic and more about people; not just about me and what I want/need. Hopefully with less focus on ourselves and more on the well being of others, we can live with less anger and sadness and emphasize forgiveness and joy.
- M.
I know we’ve probably all seen this but it never fails to put a smile on my face! hahaha DAD?!?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDm6iKH38C0&playnext_from=TL&videos=jwyX8NbvNQ4
Defined by Webster’s Dictionary:
Selfish – concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well being without regard for others.
This doesn’t exactly sound like the kind of person you want to be friends with. But I feel the act of selfishness can be useful when used in a constructive way. The last four words of this definition is the downfall of this action; “without regard for others”.
Some would say we’re all selfish; we all want love, a good job, good friends, a nice house, and nice cars. It’s true we all have our tendencies, but it’s hard for me to believe wanting happiness needs to be considered selfish. When we’re happy we share it with people. We laugh, smile, and ultimately make others around us enjoy the company and the friendships we have together. I would have to say, “without regard for others” doesn’t exactly apply here.
I’ve witnessed many people become self-destructive because of their circumstances and it doesn’t turn out well for anyone. It seems that at our lowest points are when being selfish for our happiness could be a good thing. You stand up and say, “I deserve better than this!” This can apply even if you’re the one mistreating yourself. You spend time watching your favorite movies, eating your favorite food, and taking your time to relax. It’s temporary selfishness because the end result is to benefit everyone around you. No one enjoys seeing people that they love be hard on themselves; it brings everyone down.
A selfish person can’t be satisfied. It’s “never good enough” or just “not enough” and in the long run they spend their life worried about themselves and never stopping to enjoy the relationships around them. With no regard for others it’s hard to appreciate what others try to show you.
We all need to ask ourselves if we’re being selfish towards certain things? I am 100% guilty of it myself, and most of the time I’m not even aware. But I do fully know that I’m human and that we can’t help it sometimes. It’s important to recognize it because we can lose many people we love this way. We’ll be able to control it and be more rational with our decisions and the way we treat others. Soon enough we can turn “no regard for others” into something beneficial for everyone. Redirect our motives to not only benefit our happiness but also change our attitudes to be more satisfied.
No one can go through life alone so we need to start appreciating the ones we have around us before it’s too late.
- M.
Law III – For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Sir Isaac Newton’s laws of motion were monumental to the world of physics. We were better able to understand matter, mass, inertia, and the actual movement of a physical object and the force behind it. Now I’m neither a physics instructor nor scientist but I do enjoy thinking outside of the box and I do enjoy believing that Newton’s third law of motion can apply to the mind and emotions.
Let me explain:
“Why me?” The first question we typically ask ourselves when something we feel unfair has happened to us. The second question being, “What do I do now?”
When you play a game of pool, you hit a ball that comes into contact with another. The ball in motion collides with the stationary ball sending the stationary one into motion allowing your cue ball to now occupy the same space once taken by the once stationary (now moving) pool ball. That’s always been the example that helped me understand. Now the ball that has been moved from its spot will be sent flying off until it comes into contact with something else, eventually making its way into the pocket.
Our emotions are very much like pool balls.
When life hits a ball that comes flying into our safe and stationary world, we go flying into the distance hitting everything we can until we eventually fall into that pocket and sit there until someone comes to pick us up. But just as a professional pool player, we possess the ability to control the direction once we are hit.
Anyone who falls into the pocket immediately gives up too quickly, and anyone flying around hitting everything in sight is just self-destructive. We possess the ability to slow our speed of motion and bring ourselves back to a stationary state.
Yes for every action there is a reaction; but this doesn’t mean it has to be a bad reaction. Just because you were “hit” with a break up, doesn’t mean you have to drink and rebound. Of course there will be a reaction to what has happened, there is always a reaction, but it is in our control and can be as good or bad as we make it.
When someone puts their pain on you, it will send your serenity into rocket launch. Their pain and your peace cannot occupy the same space; so which do you choose? It is not worth carrying pain from others who are out of control when you’re trying to stay stationary. With practice and strength you can eventually learn what situations need to occupy space in your mind and what others shouldn’t.
In a way, we decide our own emotional gravitational pull.
- M.
Doesn’t all of this sound like a self-help book haha. I had someone tell me today that my positive attitude makes them want to punch me in the face! I took it as a compliment. It’s good to write and release; and there is nothing better for when I get down then to read something I wrote at some point when I had a better attitude towards it.
But to get to the point of this; birds of a feather flock together. I’ve always thought that clichés exist because they are so true they’ve just been worn out.
Those who smoke typically hang around others who smoke, musicians spend time with musicians, and partiers will all be found together at the club; it’s not exactly science here, it’s simply observation. We enjoy being around people who are like us; it’s safety within our comfort zone.
But what if our comfort zone is not the best option for us?
I’ve always been proud of my friends; they are amazing people. I don’t give credit to myself for being the person I am; it all goes to my friends and family. Sure I spend time with many types of people, but at the end of the day I surround myself with supportive, loyal, and loving influences. I have full control over who I let in and out of my life.
We aren’t victims of our social scene. Anyone can change his or her clothing, hair, or even attitude to fit in; what’s important is to understand what is best for us in the end. Sometimes this can be the hardest decision of all.
There is nothing in here saying to dump your friends. If you are happy with who you are and where you are headed in life, then all is good. But I’ve learned before that sometimes we hold ourselves back by people who aren’t concerned with our best interests.
I can promise the people who will lift you up, support your decisions, and stay on your team, are the ones to keep around. You might not be identical in interests or activities, but positive attitudes can rub off on others and eventually lead to great things.
- M.
Recently it’s been a great discovery to realize perception is everything. To quote Shakespeare, “There is no good nor bad but thinking makes it so”. How can someone wake up one morning and immediately be in a crummy mood when yesterday they woke up and everything was fine?
We allow ourselves a one-way ticket into the subconscious. Our sadness and regrets are locked away here yet still control the outside world; sometimes without us even being aware. On most occasions we think about the “what ifs?” (future) and the “what was” (past) and rarely take the time for the “what is” (which is now).
It seems the best advice I’ve ever received on how to relieve stress and how to live a joyful life, is to live in the present. How can you not live in the present?? We’re here right now aren’t we? It’s easy to physically live here, there really is no other way, but our minds are very crafty and sometimes without our knowledge we drift into the past and into our future worries.
Stop, ask yourself “Am I here right now?” and you might realize you were daydreaming. Don’t let this be some habitual mind curse that hinders your day; we are in full control of our minds.
Remember that our minds are much more powerful than our problems. You have to recognize the issue, accept a change is needed, brainstorm solutions, and then act on them. Eventually there will be much progress in your overall happiness.
If this all sounds ridiculous, then it’s only because you haven’t tried it. I think most people are afraid to resolve their problems. No one wants to really relive bad times. But when we push everything aside, we relive our problems every minute of everyday, without even knowing.
It depends how badly you want to find peace with yourself.
- M.
