Sometimes We Fall

I’ve found that even the strongest and most optimistic people have their moments of weakness. As amazing as it would be, we just can’t walk around in a perpetual state of utopia; eventually the reality of real life sets in and eats away our hopes and dreams.

In the next few months I will be making a lot of important decisions in my life. They are the same decisions we all have to make when we reach a certain age and I’d assume we all have the same feelings of hesitation and anxiety about them. There are moments where I realize I have set the bar pretty high for myself. I guess in a way, I am afraid I have set myself up to fail due to unrealistic goals. But I review my writings, I review the principles in which I live my life, and I revisit my faith and continue to hold my head high.

We all have moments in our life where we look back and see opportunities we should have taken or people we should have expressed our true feelings to. At some point in time, if it hasn’t happened already, it hits you that we only live once. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have multiple opportunities to follow your dreams, but it does mean that your time is limited.

I’ve been questioning a lot of my goals recently; wanting to understand why I want to accomplish the things I do. Regardless of the reasons or motives, my deepest understanding is that the reasons don’t matter nearly as much as the idea of having a goal. The thought of having something to work towards, wake up for, live for, is what is so important. If we have no direction, how can we have any hope or faith in our purpose? And purpose is essential to the perspective of our own life. Without purpose life just seems like one big waste of time.

We must always search for that purpose. It’s vital to have dreams and goals; and if you don’t have any…find some! Even if they are unrealistic, we all need something to hope for.

I can’t tell you where I’ll be in 5 years. I wouldn’t be able to really tell you where I’ll be tomorrow…but I do know I will continuously be looking for that purpose in my life. Waking up every morning in hopes to work towards my goals and continue to have faith in the path that awaits me. There are forces much greater than us at work and those who take heart in that may find peace in hard times. There will be tough days, there will be many disappointments, and sure enough sometimes we fall, but my best advice would be to hold your head high.

-M.

Quotes

“Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t give you time.” – M. Brent

Pretty straightforward; we all tend to prioritize people and situations that could care less about us. Instead of glorifying them and “stepping up” to the challenge, we need to be realistic and re-assess what is in our best interest. I promise, 9 times out of 10 when the truth hits you (as long as that might take) you will see a lot of wasted time that you’re not getting back.

Be strong and make those changes now before you lose anymore precious time.

- M.

The Habit of Excellence

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle

This is pretty self-explanatory and one of my favorite quotes of all time. I think most of us are given the same opportunities in life, of course some people are born into better circumstances than others; but in the end it’s all about how hard you work.

If you’re saying to yourself, “Why does this always happen to me?” It’s probably because you keep making the same mistakes to put yourself in that situation.

“We are creatures of habit” my 12^th grade English teacher used to tell us; and it’s very true. We create the drama because it’s all we know, we create the debt because we like to spend, and we can create happiness if we get used to laughing, smiling, and surrounding ourselves with the right environments.

- M.

Rock Bottom – For Those Who Have Fallen

Sometimes you might feel you’ve hit the bottom. You might feel you’ve lost everything, there is no hope, and you’re helpless in your circumstances. I can assure none of that is true.

There is something positive to hitting rock bottom; you can only go up! Something I like to ask myself when I feel there is no hope is, “What’s the worst that could happen?” You might realize that the worst has already come and gone, leaving you now with 2 options:

1 – sit where you are and feel sorry for yourself

2 – get up, get out, and make the best of your situation

I see people all over the place, whether it’s on the street or just Facebook, dealing with their individual problems. Everyone has a problem with finances, school, relationships, family, friends, etc. You could spend a week listing all the problems we deal with in just a normal day.

It’s no secret that we make mistakes and live with guilt, shame, anger, and sadness. All of these are natural emotions and it is healthy for us to feel; we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. But we need these in moderation, not everyday. Negative feelings wear us down and inevitably wear down the people around us.

What we need to do is realize that our situations cannot get worse when we hit rock bottom. We have nothing to lose. We cannot fall deeper in the hole when we’re standing at ground zero of our problems. Don’t make it worse; don’t hold onto things that make your hole deeper.

I always tell people when they get broken up with that “they can’t re-breakup with you” so the worst has happened. You got dumped and you lived through it! It doesn’t make the situation feel any better but you can only go up from where you are.

Relax, take a deep breath, and ask yourself how things could be any worse. You might see that you’ve hit rock bottom; now it’s time to climb out of your hole and prove to yourself how strong you can be.

- M.

Don’t Put Limits On The People In Your Life

I don’t care who you are, one person cannot give you everything. That’s why good friends are always important; they each provide a different need that collectively becomes your sanity. – M. Uselton

The more books available in a library; the greater your chances are for knowledge, just as the more resources you have for great friends; the greater your chances are for positive support and encouragement. Friends are the resources in life to understanding trust, loyalty, and joy. Continue to surround yourself with people that only help you grow as a person and when people are brought into your life that hold qualities important to who you need to become, take advantage of having those people around. Great friends will never leave no matter how much time passes or what happens between you.

- M.

Forgiveness

I read somewhere that forgiveness is the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. And with all the hate and anger in the world it doesn’t look like many people are looking to resolve their issues…more like prolonging them.

People hurt us, so we learn their weakness to hurt them in return. As if enemy suffering has become something to rejoice over. Revenge being the only respectable action after you have been wronged. I just can’t agree.

Anyone can get angry, but it takes a mature and self-assured person to forgive and move on. It doesn’t mean you have to forget and let someone back into your life; but living with forgiveness is so much healthier than living with hate and resentment. Let them live with what they have done, let them question their whole existence, but have faith that all people will receive what they have coming to them.

For those who treat others poorly, it’s only a matter of time before it comes right back around. This is where patience becomes so important. Do not wish badly of them, and if you can’t think of them without getting angry, then don’t think of them at all and continue to live your life.

It’s important to choose carefully the battles in which we fight. The ones who are worth the fight will make themselves known to you. You will know the ones who aren’t because they will just disappear from your life. This only shows how someone really felt, and although it’s hard; it’s much easier to learn from this act, forgive, and continue being the person you are.

“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.” – Francis Bacon

- M.

My Worst Enemy

I think it’s safe to say that most of us are our own worst enemies. We bring ourselves down, give ourselves the hardest times for our shortcomings, and we won’t let us forget our own mistakes no matter how hard we try and put them behind us.

It’s not a comforting feeling knowing that every night you go to sleep, every morning you wake up, and everyday you spend with the one who is going to lower your confidence. But I’ve found a solution! You need to know yourself.

This might sound dumb because how could you not know yourself…you’re you after all. But have you ever done something you were so ashamed of that when you looked back you felt like you must have been someone else? These things happen because we don’t know what we’re capable of. We just assume, “I’d never do that” and the next thing you know you’ve become the person you never wanted to be.

We neglect ourselves. We turn the other cheek when we get scared instead of asking what is making us scared and how can we fix it. We don’t want to talk about situations that hurt so instead of releasing emotions that have built up inside, we continue to bottle it until it explodes later in life.

Our self-destructive, angry, and stressful lifestyles are, if not fully created, at least enhanced by the opinions we hold about ourselves. I am a firm believer that you cannot love someone until you love yourself, you cannot respect someone until you respect yourself, and you cannot forgive someone until you forgive yourself.

Life isn’t easy and we don’t make it any easier when we are enemies with the mirror. We can’t change everything, but we can change our attitude. Some people might bring you down and take a lot out of you, but they can’t take your spirit away.

If your hope is gone, it’s because YOU have let it go.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

- M.

Let’s All Give Up Together!

They say we only use 10% of our brains and that we’ll never fully use our mental capacity.

When I did wrestling conditioning back in high school they would tell us that there is a difference with physical strength and mental strength; it’s not the size of the man in the fight but the size of the fight in the man kind of idea. Being tired, being sore, sometimes even being injured can be overcome by the determination you have inside; that the only reason you quit is because you mentally broke your focus.

We all break focus sometimes. We get caught up in the daily drama of life and usually feel that giving up is our easiest and best option. It probably is the easiest, but definitely is not the best.

It seems school needs to focus just as much on morale as they do math because no one knows how to handle themselves in high stress, high emotion, and high speed situations.

We have no faith in ourselves. We have no idea of our full potential because we don’t allow ourselves to even get past 10% of that….at most! Anyone can get frustrated and leave, but it takes a special kind of person to stick it out and make the best of it all.

I believe anything can be accomplished through the mind. Our ability to learn and retain material is what sets us apart from wild animals. The more we know, the better we can understand what things are, why things are, and how things are. It is very important to always continue looking for answers. We can only better ourselves by furthering our knowledge.

I can promise mental toughness will take you much further in life than any gym weights will. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough.

- M.

Which One Are You?

I came across the website www.internet-of-the-mind.com and it really has some good articles on how our minds work. But I felt this one section was interesting about our internal and external environments. Read over these and decide how many apply to you in either category. I’ve definitely been working hard at putting myself in the positive internal and external environments as much as possible. Positive attitudes go a long way!

Negative Internal Environments:

• Negative self-talk – cynicism, pessimism
• Constant worry and fear
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Poor Health
• Chronic depression
• Chronic Anxiety
• Chronic Stress
• Low-self esteem

Positive Internal Environments:

• Positive self-talk
• Optimistic outlook
• Proper nutrition
• Good Health
• Peace of mind – serenity
• Good self-image
• Feeling loved and lovable
• Being in good shape

Negative External Environments:

• Chaotic lifestyle
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Abuse and Neglect
• Financial problems
• Over-work
• Poor self-care
• Stormy Relationships

Positive External Environments:

• Good support network
• Balanced living – proper rest, exercise, recreation
• Harmonious relationships
• Happy family – time, attention, affection, direction
• Success oriented – achieving goals
• Fulfilling Career
• Fun & Recreation
• Time off!

Is This Perfect Or What?

I’d have to say that perfection is the first step to failure.  You cannot achieve the impossible. Not to sound negative, but utopia does not exist.

Satisfaction of anything I think comes with a strong grasp of reality. Sure, we have problems, but who doesn’t? I’d love to change many things in my life, but who wouldn’t? Perfection is unattainable but improvements are achievable.

There are so many of us who feel that something would be great “if only….”. Well we can play Perfect World Scenario games all day but it won’t change anything. If you are unsatisfied you have a few options; change the things you can, get a better attitude about the things you can’t change, and ask yourself if you judge unfairly.

Most of us unsatisfied with our current situations are really just unsatisfied with ourselves; always asking “why me?” and blaming their luck as if the world was created just to slap them in the face and lower their morale. It takes a confident and realistic person to understand that this is not the case.

We take too much for granted. Eventually we’ll lose something irreplaceable and see that sometimes the “flaws” are what made something/someone so great and individual. Not only do we need to give our current situation more of a chance, we need to give ourselves more of a chance. We need to grasp reality and take it for what it is. Turn those lemons into lemonade; not some crappy sugar water stand because we were pissed off that the lemons weren’t as fresh as we wanted.

Forget perfection. Let’s pay attention to the things that can be achieved and focus on the improvements that are possible. Laugh a little, enjoy the day, embrace all you’ve been given, and just know that it’s easy to have less of something; it’s more that is hard to get.

- M.